قصة صديقتي المفضلة My Best Friend’s Story
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Showing posts with label Intrapersonal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Intrapersonal. Show all posts
Posted by
Joe
In:
Intrapersonal,
Questions
Seventh Time I See Him
It was the seventh time I see him at the train station this afternoon...
He was rushing into a bus to the opposite town talking on his phone...
I felt excited hearing his voice for the first time...
Will I hear his voice talking to me even just for one time?
He was rushing into a bus to the opposite town talking on his phone...
I felt excited hearing his voice for the first time...
Will I hear his voice talking to me even just for one time?
Posted by
Joe
In:
Intrapersonal
Rainy Days
It started off when I sat in silence,
There is the place where I can see.
Mirrors of hopes broke into pieces,
Pages of happiness torn apart,
The lights are being faded.
Yet they have become the darker side of me.
The howling North wind had started to drift,
Dark clouds of loneliness came to cover the sun.
The ferocious thunder then began to clap,
Tapping rhythms of tears were to be heard.
Dried leaves came off from the trees,
Dancing along into the Eastern breeze,
In a search of faded memories and dreams,
Decaying in a corner of nowhere to be seen.
The drops of tears have now fallen from sky,
They keep reminding me for not to cry.
When masqueraders keep trying hard to pry,
The fallen tears in my heart will never be dried.
There is the place where I can see.
Mirrors of hopes broke into pieces,
Pages of happiness torn apart,
The lights are being faded.
Yet they have become the darker side of me.
The howling North wind had started to drift,
Dark clouds of loneliness came to cover the sun.
The ferocious thunder then began to clap,
Tapping rhythms of tears were to be heard.
Dried leaves came off from the trees,
Dancing along into the Eastern breeze,
In a search of faded memories and dreams,
Decaying in a corner of nowhere to be seen.
The drops of tears have now fallen from sky,
They keep reminding me for not to cry.
When masqueraders keep trying hard to pry,
The fallen tears in my heart will never be dried.
Business With Kids...
"Umm? Dad? I wonder if you can come to my 'office' and sign our mutual-beneficial contract for a Nintendo DS as a sponsorship asset if I get straight A's..."It's just another day I'm selling some of the old textbooks at school to a bunch of junior students. Well, I don't mean to be offensive but they're just kids who are really childish asking weird questions when they were doing business with me. I wonder if they know what it means to be engaged in business conversations... Anyway, now I've found out that kids are pretty tough to do business with. Here's why:
Kid A: Hello? Is this Joe? I wanna know if you have the Pre-Calculus textbook to sell as I need it.
Me: (What the hell? What's your name? Of course you're calling me just because you NEED it...) I'm sorry that I do not have the stock for it now. It is said that Math lecturers will offer to provide the books. Please consult your lecturers if they are providing some copies. Thank you.
Kid B: Hey Joe, I'm interested to buy your books. Do you have the original copies or the xeroxed copies?
Me: (Who's the next unknown kid bothering me now? Can't these kids introduce themselves?) I have a few copies of each for sale, please refer to the posted advertisement and the enclosed list of textbooks and the suppliers on the board.
Kid B: A few copies of each? Does it mean the books are not complete?
Me: (Urrgh~ Kid! Can't you READ and UNDERSTAND my words? Shut the f**k up!) The books are complete. (How on earth am I going to sell them if they're incomplete?) I have several original copies of textbooks and a few xeroxed ones. Can I know which textbook is your concern?
Kid B: Oh, so does it mean that you're keeping the textbooks with lecture notes included for sale? Well, I'm looking for two textbooks, Pre-Calculus and General Maths. So how much do you sell them?
Me: (What? I don't even mention lecture notes are included on the advertisement I wrote. And now you're even bargaining with me? @#$%&!) ......
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now I know why Business is meant for adults only...
Now I know why Business is meant for adults only...
Observations
I really love to observe so that I can remember what I see. That’s why I love to learn about different cultures all around the world. From observing what my friends around me, what they’re wearing, what their expressions are like, what they are doing to every single bit of details and flaws on objects, the habit of doing so seems to be addicted.
I observed the table of grades published for the Mid Term Examinations at the school bulletin board during lunch. As I looked at the table, I’ve found that the results of practical assessment in terms of assignments and presentations are so unfair. For me, I only get 8 out of 10 points for Marketing Presentations. Comparing to other students, I only get very average marks as I really tried my very best to complete the works.
I also observed some of my classmates with other students whom I do not know at a school hall for their choir rehearsal today by letting myself sitting alone at a corner of the room. For their choir performance, the song they’re singing is the newly composed school anthem by one of the senior students who is much more talented in music. They were really great at singing during the session but I don’t feel any passion from them for the school itself.
Seeing them gathering together around singing the song somehow makes me feeling even more boundaries in between. This kind of a feeling is just the same as the feelings I had towards my ex-classmates for the last school semester… Am I actually the one who doesn’t belong?
Hung out at nearby McDonalds with my best friend. We bought ourselves fries and chit-chatted for 30 minutes about how suck our life has been at school before going home... How far can I take my own path of life to observe?
Left Brain, Right Brain
THE RIGHT BRAINJust like what I've learned in Art Class last semester, one's creativity and intelligence is based on either side of the brain known as brain dominance. So what does it actually mean of this brain dominance thing? Does it mean if someone, who is left-brained, will always have the tendency to be much better in terms of academic grades than a right-brained counterpart?
To be really honest, there is actually no accurate answer for the question above as this is because either side of the brain has their own advantages in terms of skill abilities, organization preferences and emotional control. It is said that a left-brained person has the ability of being organized and good at subjects that requires logical thinking (Maths and Sciences). Besides, concentrating in a long lecture is definitely an advantage of a left-brained person.
And since I love drawing, have started it when I was only five, and being left-handed in almost every activity I do, people I know keep assuming I'm right-brained. And to prove these people whether if they're right or wrong, I endeavored a quiz I found three hours ago and trust me, not only the assumption from them is correct but also utterly precise in terms of personality description in the test results. Spooky, really spooky...
To be really honest, there is actually no accurate answer for the question above as this is because either side of the brain has their own advantages in terms of skill abilities, organization preferences and emotional control. It is said that a left-brained person has the ability of being organized and good at subjects that requires logical thinking (Maths and Sciences). Besides, concentrating in a long lecture is definitely an advantage of a left-brained person.
And since I love drawing, have started it when I was only five, and being left-handed in almost every activity I do, people I know keep assuming I'm right-brained. And to prove these people whether if they're right or wrong, I endeavored a quiz I found three hours ago and trust me, not only the assumption from them is correct but also utterly precise in terms of personality description in the test results. Spooky, really spooky...
So this is a part of the test result I've gotten as a right-brained person:
- You take notes but lose them. You may have a hard time keeping track of your research
- You might have a hard time making up your mind
- You are good with people
- You don't fall for practical jokes as easily as some
- You seem dreamy, but you're really deep in thought
- People may have told you you're psychic
- You like to write fiction, draw, or play music
- You might be athletic
- You like mystery stories
- You take time to ponder and you think there are two sides to every story
- You may lose track of time
- You are spontaneous
- You’re fun and witty
- You may find it hard to follow verbal directions
- You are unpredictable
- You get lost
- You are emotional
- You don't like reading directions
- You may listen to music while studying
- You read lying down
- You may be interested in “the unexplained”
- You are philosophical
Well, yes. I admit that I always come late for classes and think A LOT whenever I lay down. However, being athletic is the only statement that doesn't apply to me. What about the plan of going to a fitness gym although it almost never happen? A tendency? Maybe...
So what about you? Are you curious to know your brain dominance? You can CLICK HERE to try out the test. Speaking about creativity once more, I kinda like the picture of the right brain above...
So what about you? Are you curious to know your brain dominance? You can CLICK HERE to try out the test. Speaking about creativity once more, I kinda like the picture of the right brain above...
The Closet Pressure...
The world outside from the door looks beautiful & less stressful than staying in with roses decorated around. But will you take the risk of passing through the unseen thorns and experience unexpected dangers outside?Coming out, is a phase when people announce their sexual orientation. Although I've partially come out within people I know especially friends, I still remain closeted in my family. Today is just another day that I heard another homophobic statement from my dad to my brother in a moving van on the way back home.
"Son, the youngest uncle of yours is a faggot. He's nothing but a total loser that he french kissed a man and someone on the street saw it. Damn disgusting!"
I kept quiet and looked outside the window... It was raining... and because of the quote, I've actually noticed that I'm being noted not to let anyone in my family know that I'm actually gay. I can't imagine any further if my dad finds out one day by reading this blog... Freaky, really freaky...
"Son, the youngest uncle of yours is a faggot. He's nothing but a total loser that he french kissed a man and someone on the street saw it. Damn disgusting!"
I kept quiet and looked outside the window... It was raining... and because of the quote, I've actually noticed that I'm being noted not to let anyone in my family know that I'm actually gay. I can't imagine any further if my dad finds out one day by reading this blog... Freaky, really freaky...
Posted by
Joe
In:
Intrapersonal,
My Life
The Tears I Shed...
I will no longer cry just because people are no longer deserved for me to cry for. I won't let myself to be hurt over and over again just because of these people. Yes, I cried before. But it does not mean I'm fallen. I've finally discovered that I don't need friends who don't support and still discriminating me with their silly, so-called jokes. It may make me smile or sometimes even laugh from the outside but you'll never know that I'm offended from the inside.
I've not even begged people to do me a lot of favors before because I know I can handle things on my own. And I'm pretty sure that most people won't even lend me a hand even if I request one. And even if they do, they would sometimes end up showing frowns.
Growing up, I've now realized that people around me aren't worth my tears. I've also noticed that these people who I shed my tears for are not even willing to hear the words deep inside my heart. Even if they do, I know they would not believe everything I talked to be sincere enough for them. I just... know~
As a result, I've now learned a lesson not to be as gullible as I were before and it's like an alarm to remind me to battle for my own dignity. Life is still going on without them and I will never drop any single of my tears in front of these humans anymore... because there are more important things to cry for...
Posted by
Joe
In:
Intrapersonal,
My Life
A-Z (My Personal Version)
A brand new hope is all I need,
But you always keep threatening me.
Casting bright stars with my heart,
Defying the storms wherever I be.
Embroidering sincerity to show your loyalty, but
Fraudulence is the word you disappoint me.
Growing up around fellow masqueraders,
Happiness outside as it may seem,
I feel broken just right within.
Joking around to cheer one up,
Keeping vengeance from one to put me down,
Laments I had lasted for months.
Memories before has finally faded,
Now they're worthless for remembrance.
Obfuscating people from knowing much truths,
Procrastinating them until the ruthless time comes.
Quenching my faith has done upon you,
Retreating myself from the pits of fire,
Stitches from wounds can never be recovered,
Thorns in the heart can never be plucked.
Undeniably that future, is unforeseeable without luck,
Verisimilitude in life is the visual I wanted to see,
Walking in the prairies, to know what I want to be.
Xylophones are being played to show an end,
Yet the tales of my life will remain to be told.
Z is the end to bid you farewell.
But you always keep threatening me.
Casting bright stars with my heart,
Defying the storms wherever I be.
Embroidering sincerity to show your loyalty, but
Fraudulence is the word you disappoint me.
Growing up around fellow masqueraders,
Happiness outside as it may seem,
I feel broken just right within.
Joking around to cheer one up,
Keeping vengeance from one to put me down,
Laments I had lasted for months.
Memories before has finally faded,
Now they're worthless for remembrance.
Obfuscating people from knowing much truths,
Procrastinating them until the ruthless time comes.
Quenching my faith has done upon you,
Retreating myself from the pits of fire,
Stitches from wounds can never be recovered,
Thorns in the heart can never be plucked.
Undeniably that future, is unforeseeable without luck,
Verisimilitude in life is the visual I wanted to see,
Walking in the prairies, to know what I want to be.
Xylophones are being played to show an end,
Yet the tales of my life will remain to be told.
Z is the end to bid you farewell.
-Joe
Return to Innocence - Enigma
Lyrics :
That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence
Love, devotion
Feeling, emotion
Love, devotion
Feeling, emotion
Don't be afraid to be weak
Don't be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart, my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence
If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself, don't hide
Just believe in destiny
Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and use the chance
To return to innocence
That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence
Don't care what people say
Follow just your own way
Don't give up, don't give up
To return, to return to innocence
If you want, then laugh
If you must, then cry
Be yourself, don't hide
Just believe in destiny
That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence
Love, devotion
Feeling, emotion
Love, devotion
Feeling, emotion
Don't be afraid to be weak
Don't be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart, my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence
If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself, don't hide
Just believe in destiny
Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and use the chance
To return to innocence
That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence
Don't care what people say
Follow just your own way
Don't give up, don't give up
To return, to return to innocence
If you want, then laugh
If you must, then cry
Be yourself, don't hide
Just believe in destiny
I Got A Kiss From a STRAIGHT GUY!
I'm finally home... I'm so relieved!
It was just another hard day spending the night to get the Art Assignment done. But it's still left unfinished. So I'll be having another sleepover session with my friends again tomorrow night... What a life...
I've been sweating a lot these days that has made me lost some weight due to extreme hot weather outside.
It was late evening when I chat online with my family yesterday. Suddenly, I got pulled out from the room by a lot of friends from another tutorial group who also came to finish up their assignments to go downstairs. And when I arrived downstairs, I saw the guy... he was blindfolded. After that, one of them, who pulled me downstairs, told him to remove the cloth that blindfolded him.
"Look at him... So he's your REWARD for your punishment for being late... Now KISS HIM!" She said.
"Look at him... So he's your REWARD for your punishment for being late... Now KISS HIM!" She said.
I was totally shocked and quickly said "NO" because it is really awkward for me to receive a kiss from a guy who already has a girlfriend. But he was just feeling relax and kissed me at the lips... Everyone was shocked but somewhat amazed... But I feel nothing from the kiss... Maybe I'm still thinking of "him"... Maybe I still want "him" to be mine... But it's totally impossible... So how long does it actually take in order to get someone over at 100%?
New Age...
If you have listened to Enya before and enjoyed her songs, then you are counted in as the New Age Music lovers. New Age songs emphasizes flowing emotions unlike any other songs. Sometimes they calm you down from stresses and reflect your emotions. Here is one of the examples of New Age Music Video that reflects my thoughts of the rain below. Enjoy...
It Rains Again (The Directions Taken in My Life... Part 2)
(...Continues)
Love... What is that? For me, it's almost an impossible thing to be happened in my life. Like the shadows being cast out from the dark castles full of auras of the devils, it is seemed that it is very difficult to find the source of hope... the light from the deepest core of my heart. I do miss the sunshine of the pasts, but always wanted to ignore the tree of the childhood which has been striken by the thunder full of suffering souls in the Octagram Temple. But what I can only do is just keep walking in the prairies in front of my eyes where the diversities of irreversible roads of the future exist. How long do I have to walk in order to reach for a place where the eternal of true Love exists?
There was one time I stopped by at the backyard of the school during lunch, wondering why I always feel left alone although I have lots of friends. Now, being rejected by a lot of people who always has shown frowns on me is no longer a big deal just because of the false side of personality in me. I still don't know why I'm keeping my true self frozen inside me... What would they think about me if they had met my true form?
It rained outside again this afternoon. Whenever I see the raindrops falling from the infinite sky, I always feel that the paradise is crying for me to clean away the feeling of despair inside. The tapping sounds of the droplets that have fallen onto the ground has now become the most soothing melody that can only calm my heart. Maybe it is indeed true that the water has the ability of reflecting out the memories and emotions that has been kept for long time.
Besides, I have also realized the paths on the prairies are not that easy to be traveled on as the grasses with thorns of regrets grow faster and faster in time. I insisted and pushed myself forward to travel on my bare feet for further adventures in life to see my path of future life and career. I walk faster and faster but I never know where I'm heading to... What kind of destination will I end up one day? What kind of scenery will I able to see along the way? I don't know... but I want to know...
There was one time I stopped by at the backyard of the school during lunch, wondering why I always feel left alone although I have lots of friends. Now, being rejected by a lot of people who always has shown frowns on me is no longer a big deal just because of the false side of personality in me. I still don't know why I'm keeping my true self frozen inside me... What would they think about me if they had met my true form?
It rained outside again this afternoon. Whenever I see the raindrops falling from the infinite sky, I always feel that the paradise is crying for me to clean away the feeling of despair inside. The tapping sounds of the droplets that have fallen onto the ground has now become the most soothing melody that can only calm my heart. Maybe it is indeed true that the water has the ability of reflecting out the memories and emotions that has been kept for long time.
Besides, I have also realized the paths on the prairies are not that easy to be traveled on as the grasses with thorns of regrets grow faster and faster in time. I insisted and pushed myself forward to travel on my bare feet for further adventures in life to see my path of future life and career. I walk faster and faster but I never know where I'm heading to... What kind of destination will I end up one day? What kind of scenery will I able to see along the way? I don't know... but I want to know...
Rainy Day... (The Directions Taken in My Life... Part 1)
Rain... It always reminds me of every single sad memories which make me feel some degrees of loneliness and sorrow inside. I can still remember there was one time; 13th March 2004; I cried alone under the rain due to betrayal from some people who were so-called-friends... But now, it has become a part of my history which turns me to be less gullible but more fragile... Yes, the history of life... Everyone of us must have some sad memories in the past that has turned us to be stronger from the outside but sometimes weaker from the inside...
Back at school, I've realized everyone; all my new friends, attend to study with full of hopes in order to fulfill their dreams. The cooperations between them is unusually extraordinary yet outstanding. We hangout, laugh and share informations about ourselves. But I want to know... How long will our friendship last? By looking at their witty looks and expressions of staying strong, I always wonder how their hearts would sound like every time when they strain in hardships and disappointments. Is everyone of us destined to struggle for everything we wanted?
The people I envy most; Old friends, most of them have immigrated overseas to further their studies and to continue their lifestyle doing whatever they want to do. Of course, they promise to come back for visiting me sometime if they really miss me. But I really want them to know that I don't really want them coming back to visit me. It's always better for them to continue their lives doing what they've actually wanted to do so that there will be lesser regrets in the very near future... And I've been wondering... will I be granted to get the opportunity to do something I've been hoping to do for long time?
Comparisons... I wonder why it has become the key to diversity between humans to gain self-consciousness... In my opinion, I do believe that everyone is different and that makes us to be unique. It has been very offensively hurting people's heart and turns situations to be very ugly when comparison is made between them because everyone of us has our own unique personality... Why not staying back and accept the way they are?
Back at school, I've realized everyone; all my new friends, attend to study with full of hopes in order to fulfill their dreams. The cooperations between them is unusually extraordinary yet outstanding. We hangout, laugh and share informations about ourselves. But I want to know... How long will our friendship last? By looking at their witty looks and expressions of staying strong, I always wonder how their hearts would sound like every time when they strain in hardships and disappointments. Is everyone of us destined to struggle for everything we wanted?
The people I envy most; Old friends, most of them have immigrated overseas to further their studies and to continue their lifestyle doing whatever they want to do. Of course, they promise to come back for visiting me sometime if they really miss me. But I really want them to know that I don't really want them coming back to visit me. It's always better for them to continue their lives doing what they've actually wanted to do so that there will be lesser regrets in the very near future... And I've been wondering... will I be granted to get the opportunity to do something I've been hoping to do for long time?
Comparisons... I wonder why it has become the key to diversity between humans to gain self-consciousness... In my opinion, I do believe that everyone is different and that makes us to be unique. It has been very offensively hurting people's heart and turns situations to be very ugly when comparison is made between them because everyone of us has our own unique personality... Why not staying back and accept the way they are?
(... to be continued)
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